Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
