an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
