First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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