vagina is talking i cant
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize