Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
