i already hear my dad disowning me
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
