Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just want to make out with him forever
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
