if i can run in heels then i can drive
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
