So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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