1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
