he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
