I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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