You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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