I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
