i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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