Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
