Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
