yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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