I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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