Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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