The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
