maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
