Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
it glows. i had to have it.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
