Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
