i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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