Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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