Are we in a gay sports bar?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
