Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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