at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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