I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize