Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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