I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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