Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
