jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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