I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
