You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
