please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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