what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Walk of Shame today included voting.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
