That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
