stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
