I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
