The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
nutella sex= disaster
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
