Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
