first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
