ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
