dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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