my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
