he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
