His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
