kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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