if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
this just has baby written all over it
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
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