On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
