my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
A bitchslap is in order.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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