Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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