If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
