porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
