Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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