No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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