This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
