What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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