Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
